The night time frame...

Goal: shower and be ready to get picked up at 3 p.m.



As freaked out as I can be regarding this thing on my leg, I get amused by the response of others: medical providers are proud of me because, “everything looks good…no infection and my pin sites are well maintained;” family members have varied in their comments, I’ve heard everything from, “You look like Frankenstein” to “When are they (aliens) coming to get you?;” while strangers offer the most comic relief with their not so secret glances and stares. It’s all truly comical because there is really nothing one can say.


However, I am thankful when the brave ones actually express what they really feel: “Oh my God!,” “Does that hurt?,” and “Woooo!” actually make me feel better. Trust me, I still get lost staring at my leg in disbelief. Although it has been six weeks and four days, I STILL get lost in the fact that this frame is on my leg.


Aside to getting adjusted to the frame, I find myself bothered by the violent dreams I continue to have. I am talking feel-the gun-to-my-tempo-if –I-don’t-wake-up-I’m-dead-dreams. The dreams (more like nightmares) occurred every night the first two weeks post surgery. I still recall most of the scenes and situations. Weeks three and four, the dreams faded away, but now they are slowly coming back. Last night, for instance, was scary. I found myself jumping up every time I felt sleep coming my way. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw dark shadows. I programmed my television to go off at least four different times. I felt like I was in a “Freddy Kruger” movie:


“One, two, Freddy’s coming for you…three, four, better lock your door…five, six, grab the crucifix…”


At least I got 3 ½ hours of sleep last night.


I am taking Vicodin for the pain. I’ve taken it before, but never experienced these type of dreams. Maybe my underlining mental state is playing into my lack of sleep. I know that hallucinations and “unusual” dreams are known side effects, but come on! Tonight I’ll be at my mom’s home because she is taking me to an early doctor’s appointment in the morning. I am hoping sleep will be easier to find, although I was at her home my first two weeks post surgery. I can hope, right????


(By the way, I did meet my goal of the day, but my ride is now 20 minutes late…*smiles*)