Still Framed...

Goal: brush teeth, wash face, make a mocha, and blog.



Today has been a slow moving day for me, and it is not all due to my having a long day yesterday. The first thirty minutes of my day truly color how my day will unfold: will it be one to rejoice in or one I sleep away? Today, I feel like sleeping.


At times, the frame is like a cage, a part of my body is entrapped, with no means to escape. And although I know it to be there, I sometimes forget and want to break free. This is a very common feeling when I wake up in the morning. When sleep finds me, I usually sleep sound. Despite the dreams, nightmares, or on rare occasions, the silence, I will drift to a place where I forget reality, and when I awake, I sometimes forget where I am and that I am still framed.


That first under-the-cover-stretch is usually what gets to me. (You know what I am talking about: when your eyes first pop open and you stretch or move your legs under the covers to get the circulation moving before you hop/pop up to turn on the television or get out of the bed.) In that brief, early A.M. moment, I freak because I can’t move my left leg. Not only are the covers caught on it, but it’s weighted down and I feel pain. When I raise my head to see what’s the matter, the visual brings me back to reality – I have to deal with this sh** again. Dang!


And then my reality hits: walker to the left of the bed, need to put on right leg brace before I can make it safely to the bathroom, muster up will to get up and go to the bathroom, should brush teeth and wash face, and the nurse will be here between 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. to clean pins and rotate struts. This is the constant in which I now reside. The variety comes when I sleep at my mom’s home once a week. The difference – no A.M. nurse, I have a doctor’s appointment.


The highlights these days are making my homemade mochas: milk, ice, mocha mix, and blend. I do this every morning. I love my homemade mochas and I use to make them every morning to drink on my way to work. They taste great and always made me feel good, and Lord knows I need to feel good these days. Besides, milk does a body good and my mocha mix is 99.9% caffeine free, so there. This is why I went to Smart-and-Final before moving back home and purchased three cans of mocha mix, two large bags of ice, and two more packs of 20-ounce foam cups (I already had plenty of lids and straws). I know I am not living “green,” but I need to be spill proof at this time.


(I know my life is upside down because I am blogging about my mocha – Oh Lord! Now do you understand why I want to sleep the day away???)